Apathy Isn't Always Bad (Post 49)

LALALA NOT CARING. Also allowing myself to not take the blame for everyone in the worlds' sadness (multiple times today.)

I got a summer job! I'm going to be a counselor for 5 year old girls at a day camp.

Also the letting shit go thing is an accomplishment too.

365 (Post 48)

I started a 365 today. I can't help but think it's kind of funny that I'd want to do one of those, but maybe it'll be good for me? I don't know. I know I looked a lot different this time last year but I shouldn't think about that.

I had a normal conversation with someone who I thought things wouldn't be normal with ever again.

And I guess starting a 365 is an accomplishment too [:

Deflecting (Post 47)

I was watching House earlier and there was a discussion about how often House deflects pretty much everything. Which got me into thinking about how I deflect compliments. People on formspring have complimented me, and I feel weird just being like thank you. It's hard to not say something like "I don't agree."

I've allowed myself to comment on some aspect of my day in this blog, and I've forced myself to think about things outside of my normal thought process.

^Did that make any sense?

Unusual pretext for a friendship (Post 46)

Today I facebook IMed this girl Laura, a friend of a friend. We didn't talk for long, but we had a lot to talk about, so she gave me her number and said to text her. I feel like we likely will become close, due to how we know each other. Then I think "this isn't normal, Nicole, this is part of that world."

Moving out of that world doesn't mean I can't keep it's inhabitant's phone numbers.

^That's what I realized tonight.

This counts as Saturday's (Post 45)

Woohoo I had a really good day! I saw a lot of people I like and over all had fun. Katie even said to me "you're a lot more comfortable with yourself than you were last year. You're weird but you're weird but you're not apologizing. It's nice." Or something to that extent. I was glad she noticed.

I didn't start a fight with my mom even though I had every right to get angry.

I got home from a fun night just hanging out and my mom asked if I was high. I am completely sober and I just said to her "fine I know you still have the drug test in the house. Test me if you want" instead of arguing with her.

South Park (Post 44)

Damn, I was so close to a week straight of posts then I messed up yesterday. I've spent the past 45 minutes trying to figure out what the hell is going on with last night's South Park. It got censored then pulled then I found it online but it was the censored version and it was really good and I want to see the real one and my head hurts. <--Yes that was a purposeful run-on sentence. I'm flustered for a few reasons tonight and South Park is getting all of that flustered energy.

I got some stupid drivers education homework done.

Mountain biking in the morning. WOOHOO!

Labels/defining yourself (Post 43)

I don't know what I am, but

I am not my disorders/issues. I am me. They are not personality traits that accurately describe me.

Feeling powerful kind of scares me.