Degrassi (Day 31)

So I forgot to post a family story last night, but here's a great one from 10 minutes ago;

My grandpa saw "Degrassi" on tv.

Grandpa: they were talking about pregnancy and how you become pregnant! It's disgusting and RISQUE!

Me: wait you mean the stork doesn't drop them off? okay but please tell me there's a santa clause!

:D

I can be funny when I want to be

I'm sunburnt :[

Limited Internet Activity :[ (Day 30)

The internet won't open on my laptop and I'm forced onto my grandparent's crappy desktop. It sucks.
I'm the most unique person in my family.
Here's to a better tomorrow.

Happy Passover (Day 29)

Happy Passover! While I do appreciate the family time to a certain degree, I get very frustrated in these big family gatherings that last multiple days. I've decided that for the next few days (today through Thursday,) along with posting my daily practice, I'll post something funny someone said.

Grandpa: Is Dr. Dick a he or a she?

Mom: A he

Nicole: There's an easy way to remember that one.

Mom: Nicole!

Grandpa: Wait, how?

I'm finally catching up on my blogging

^Oh hey cop-out whuddup

Florida in the AM (Day 28)

I don't want to go. I want the warm but not the family aspect. I love my family but this is just too anxiety provoking.

I'm not going down without fighting for my fucking life.

I plan on catching up on blogging on the plane. I've had a lot to say recently.

Making up for a few days (Day 26/27sih)

I had a really crappy week. And while that's not an excuse to neglect my daily practice, it is an explanation as to why I could not find positive qualities in myself. But just like I have to get back on track in my issues, I have to get back on track in my blogging.

I got a prom dress

I'm 9 for 9 on college acceptances

I have nothing to put here but I don't want to break the format.

A 'HUGE' problem (Day 25)

I'm so freaking sick of society. So when I read the news for ABC Family's new show, "Huge" I created a facebook group called "St

op Exploiting Teens' Bodies/Body Image. Boycott ABC Family's "HUGE" Granted there isn't really much I can do, but I can speak out against it and hope my thoughts get attention.

I made a group promoting body acceptance!

Here's the full description of the group: An article released on 3/23/10 excitedly announced ABC Family's newest tv venture; a show called "HUGE" about teens at a weight loss camp (commonly referred to as 'fat camp'.) I think this is disguisting. The fact that the show itself is called "Huge" in the first place is insulting to overweight teens.

Additionally, I'm sick and tired of television exploiting teens' struggles with weight for their own gain. Shows like "True Life: I have an Eating Disorder" or "True Life: I'm obese" trivialize these problems for their own purposes.

With all the focus on weight loss in our society, do we really need another show about it? Do we need a show where they've already announced that an "average sized" character is going to be at the camp because she thinks she's overweight?
EveryBODY is beautiful. Sizes, numbers, calories DON'T MATTER. Stop saying that they do. Thin, fat, short, tall, NONE OF THOSE LABELS MEAN ANYTHING. It's more important to be a good and happy person [:

Ugh (Day 24)

Crappy ass night. My friend Willa made it a bit better. Now I just need to sleep.

I stayed pretty calm despite myself.

^except I sill don't know if I'm proud of myself for that.

2 Minutes to midnight (Day 23)

It's 11:58 pm and I want to post this before tomorrow (midnight). SO:

I attempting to look at prom shopping (a "normal" girl's enjoyable experience) in a positive light despite my insecurities.

O no! POST!

House is going baby-hunting (Day 22)

My titles keep getting more and more ridiculous. I'm watching House and he's looking for sick babies. It's such a sad episode (though it just started.) I hate episodes about sick children.

I might be on to something...

I should journal about that.

Not a huge fan of change (Day 21)

I was just talking to a friend and I realized how much of my life is changing soon. I'm not too good with change. This should be interesting...

My outfit looked good today

^The closest I'll get to complimenting my own looks...

Disappointment (Day 20)

Happy 20 days! Can't believe I've made it this far... Today was a disappointing day and tomorrow will probably be pointless. What am I discovering?

I am able to have open and honest conversations with people

I need to finish this essay

Procrastination (Day 19)

I need to finish task 2 for PiG paper...

I don't back down

^that's gotten me in trouble before too...

College (Day 18)

Remember this blog post http://nicolesara.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-do-i-keep-putting-this-off.html ?

Well I got in. I guess the admissions officers were high or something when they read my application. But seriously, how the hell did that happen? I'm still in shock. Excited but shocked. Because now I know where I'm going to school (though I still know nothing about their arts programs...)

Apparently I'm smart enough to get in?

I'm excited but kind of disappointed that the choice is now out of my hands. Who knows, maybe the school will be a great fit for me? But I was pretty excited about some other schools...

Deserving (Day 17)

A lot of people involved in Carousel have said they haven't blogged because of the play. I haven't blogged because I didn't think I should. I didn't think I deserved it. I seem to spend a lot of time on "deserving or not deserving." One of my core values perhaps? I'm not sure, I wasn't there when we learned that concept.

I collaged today

Crappy day will end now. G'night

This isn't a gym paper (Day 16)

I have 3 hours to write a paper for gym. Yes, gym. Thanks Outdoor Education...

I stepped out of my comfort zone without freaking out.

ps: COME SEE CAROUSEL!

It's a party in the USA (Day 15)

No I haven't gone insane, I was listening to a hilarious Party in the USA cover that cheered me up. It's a lame song, but whatever, it's not like I was listening to Miley (*cough ALEX cough*)

I allowed myself to believe my friend cared for me today.

Time to do my stupid gym paper...

Happy 2 weeks (Day 14)

Okay so I missed two days total so far...not so bad. I'm tired as hell right now. Don't want to think.

I put others first.

I get into a hell of a lot of shit for this...

I need to stop procrastinating (Day 13)

It's 11:54 during hell week, I have a quiz 1st period I've yet to study for. I'm on facebook. Pathetic, but I really can't stop the procrastination.

I want a better life for myself.

I need to stop putting myself down on here...

Not so much pain (Day 12ish)

I had a good one in mind but I got distracted video chatting with a friend I haven't seen in forever, but it turned my bad mood around, which is good. Earlier I was thinking about the lyrics to Pain by Three Days Grace where they say "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all" and I've come to realize that I agree with that statement.

I feel strongly

Goodnight World. I enjoy good moods and positive energy.

Not much to say (Day 11)

No qualifiers, not much to say. I had a good day.

I've come so far since this weekend last year.

:D

Sleepy (Day 10)

I'm too tired to do this. I don't feel good about myself right now. So I guess I'm not doing one.

I'm a good friend

^^^AKA my fallback when I'm forced to be nice to myself. Lame.

One month later (Day 9)

Since the beginning of this year, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how things change within a week, a month, or a year. A year later, I was in the same predicament. A month later, I was doing well overall. 2 weeks later, well it was only 2 weeks (if you ask my mother that is.) And while none of these particular examples make sense to you, I'm hoping that the basic idea will resonate because it's something we all experience.

I'm working hard on Carousel

Today sucked (Day 8)

It sucked a lot. So much that I really don't want to do this. LIke I really don't deserve anything nice about myself right now, at all. So I guess I have to fight it. O I got it.

When I fall, I promise myself I'll pull myself right back up again.

Wow, I'm surprisingly glad I did this. I feel a lot better now. Strange...

It was bound to happen (Day 7ish)

I fell asleep without doing my daily practice. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just didn't want to do it last night and I planned on doing it right before bed, but I fell asleep early. So I don't know if I deserve to say something nice about myself for yesterday. What's done is done. The concept of what I do and don't deserve as a person has been talked over and over again in therapy, so I know that the most proactive thing to do would be to fight the voice saying I don't deserve it by writing something positive. But I can't always do what's right in these situations.

Mid-day accomplishment (Day 6)

I'm currently sitting in the lunch room with Juliana and she said "I need to do my blog" which reminded me that I did too. My first reaction was "what have I done today?" before I realized

I came back to school

See you all next period [: